An Unfortunate Milieu

Before I start on today’s (really long) topic, I just want to take the time to wish myself and the other teachers in my group a happy one year anniversary! Some have left already, some have stayed. Regardless, it’s so crazy that it’s already been a full year since we came.

Now on to more important matters… ^^

On today’s episode, we shall discuss the extreme gap between old Korea and the modern day one; to be sure, the disparity is paramount. Living here, one is faced day to day with the evidence of Korea’s quick debut as a major competitor with the best of the industrialized world. The problem with such a fast transition, however, is that families are not able to cope with the quickly evolving ideas of what it means to be a family. And the worst part is that I don’t think they even know it yet.

Unlike in the States, Korea does not have nursing homes or any equivalent. The children are expected to take care of their aging parents. At least one sibling almost always ends up living with the parents and taking responsibility for them. The oldest male in each family is especially subject to this sort of pressure – I’ve even heard women talking about how no one wants to marry an oldest son, because they know the sort of work that will be involved. It’s quite common for a grown man to announce without the least bit of hesitation or embarrassment that he still lives with his mother. It’s just how things are done here. At least for now.

Life in Korea, even only a short while ago, was drastically different from the life youths these days are experiencing. I have a teachers’ class that, on any given week, allows for me to talk with about 25-28ish Korean English teachers from around the city where I live. I always find it interesting when they speak of their life as kid or when they were students, and it constantly amazes me how very different it must have been from the Korea I know today. I’ve heard teachers tell of how, when they were young, they would sometimes have to go hungry simply because there wasn’t enough food to go around. Even today, Koreans seem to have a slight obsession with food – always making sure there is an abundance of it and asking if someone has eaten yet as a form of greeting. Kids these days have no idea what it’s like to go without such a staple. Convenience stores and vending machines are found ubiquitously. Prepackaged snacks and drinks are everywhere; just take a walk down the sidewalk and you’ll find the ground littered with wrappers.  A life where one couldn’t just run to a local street stand and buy ramen, ice cream, or other favorite street snack would seem completely alien to kids here. And it’s not just food; it seems like everyone these days spends a fortune on having the latest things, following the newest trends, and buying the smartest technologies.

As I watch the old people go about their daily routines and compare it with the fast paced, high pressure environment of modern day life, it doesn’t even seem to me that there is only one culture here. Certainly there are thousands of years’ worth of history to unite these people with a common background and ancient tradition, but, when it comes down to it, the young people today are from an entirely different culture altogether than that of their elders.

Now, obviously, I’m not Korean; I’m most definitely an outsider looking in and trying to make judgments based on things I don’t really understand, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But I am, however, of a mixed background and multiple heritages. I’m half Guatemalan, half … just American. So, as I am contending that Korea is currently facilitating two different cultures, I feel as though my own experience may allow for some credibility in my judgments, though of course I could actually be quite wrong about that… Anyway, my only point is that I know how it can sometimes be difficult to justify two ways of thinking – sometimes I feel too American to really understand some of my relatives and acquaintances, and not American enough to fully get my other relatives and friends. There are times when someone from one background will talk to me about how to handle something/someone from the other background and all I can do is look at them, marveling at how they seem to have no clue what they are talking about. Not that it’s all bad, but who I am with greatly determines how I will act. The reason I say this is because I think students in Korea will face the same culture gap challenges as they get older. Parents and grandparents will expect one action, but the young person will see no reason why they must proceed in such a way, leaving their elders disappointed.

Already I can see the evidence of this beginning to occur.  I have a Korean friend here who is solely responsible for taking care of her aging mother because none of her other siblings are willing to help out. I’ve also heard many parents complain about how their child doesn’t seem to want to have a relationship with them; instead, the kids view them as only a sort of bank account – someone from whom they receive money whenever they need it. And is it any wonder? It’s very common here to see young children, early elementary school age, riding alone on busses and navigating the city all by themselves. Many parents rarely spend time with their children. They go to work all day while the kids have very full schedules themselves, balancing school, private tutoring academies, homework, friends, and trying to find time for even a little bit of fun to relieve all the stress and pressures of studying. Many kids these days don’t even eat at home – they just live off of school lunches and whatever random meal they pick out for themselves at the local Family Mart or GS25 store.  Adults complain about how their child shows apathy toward them, but can you really blame the kids? These parents may fill their role from a biological perspective, but are severely lacking from an emotional standpoint. They are going to be sorely disappointed when their kids are all grown up and want nothing to do with them. They feel as though they are looking out for their kid’s best interest, all the while the student only knows them as absentee family to whom they owe little-to-no appreciation or responsibility (certainly this is not the case with all families, it’s only a generalization, but it holds accurate in many situations). Nursing homes and the like may not be popular now, but I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if they slowly began to pop up.

We were discussing this in one of my teachers’ classes and it was determined that the main problem is that parents today are too focused on the here and now. Short term results. “What score will my child get on his test?” It seems as though their whole world revolves around this one question. Students here choose their high schools similar to how we think of students choosing colleges, and every test matters. Each test score in middle school factors into determining which high school a teen is eligible for, which in turn affects which college they can attend and even what their major will be. I’ve even heard of students choosing a major not because they actually like it, but simply because it was the best they could do with their exam scores. The pressures are extremely high and parents tend to elevate them because they want their child to do well. They promote an insane amount of studying because both parent and child will reap the benefits quickly – amazing test scores, entrance into prestigious schools, and the honor and bragging rights those accomplishments afford. The problem, however, is that they seemingly forget about the long term health of the student. It’s not unheard of for people who have done well for themselves to crash only a few years into the highly competitive job they’ve landed simply because, in all their academic preparing, they never took the time to be emotionally and mentally prepared. This also makes me question the lifespan of the average Korean. Right now it’s rather high, but those who are elderly now didn’t have to deal with the stress and pressure with which kids these days are faced. I just wonder how it will negatively affect Korea’s future.

The only way this is going to change is if parents simply let their kids be kids instead of encouraging all this competition to be the best. But, then again, with such a high population density and limited available employment, the problem is that even if some families do this, other families won’t, causing the students in the earlier group to fall behind. I guess the government needs to step in and mandate some regulations, though that’s much easier said than done. For next school year, they’ve done away with school on Saturdays, as far as I understand it, to help alleviate some of the pressure. But, instead, schools are just lengthening their regular semester by that many days and students will still be sent off to the hagwons on the weekend for more study-time. Maybe a better idea is to place limits on hagwon classes and attendance, though I’m not sure how that would even be possible. All I know is, kids are being run into the ground and their parents and grandparents are being able to identify with them less and less. Not a good situation any way you look at it.

잘 다녀 오겠습니다*

*Don’t bother putting this into Google Translate… that translation has nothing to do with the actual meaning…

Lesson #78) Pigs’ head are a symbol of good luck. Once I saw some men who set up a table with a bunch of random vegetables and food and a big pig’s head in the middle with a bunch of money stuffed in its mouth… weird.
Lesson #79) Schools have festivals which include lots of special foods, games, displays of art and such, concerts, and other random events. See my Facebook album for pics from my school’s festival.
Lesson #80) Koreans, when walking, will often pass on the left. This always throws me off as I unconsciously walk on the right of the hallway, and hence find myself running into people…
Lesson #81) Doors and windows are open. All the time. I often pass the men’s room on the way to the bus in the mornings. The door is always open and even if I remind myself ahead of time not to look, every time I hear noise, I turn. Not because I want to; it’s just a natural reaction. You’d think I’d remember not to by now. As a result, I often have a front row view of old Korean men peeing. Lovely.
Lesson #82) Korea is great about keepings things pretty with lots of flowers come spring. First the cherry blossoms and magnolias are everywhere you look. As soon as they start to die off, the azaleas begin blooming. And, when they’re fading, out come all the roses.
Lesson #83) The ridiculous English you see on t-shirts and other things never get boring. Recently, I saw a shirt that said, “Kiss my arms,” and another one that said, “Today I am a boy.” Koreans just wear anything with English writing because they think it looks cool, even though they have no idea what it means. Kinda like how some people in America wear things with Chinese characters with probably equally crazy meanings.
Lesson #84) Koreans celebrate Children’s Day. Similar to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, Children’s Day is all about the kids. They get off school and they are the boss for the day. They tell their parents where they want to go, what they want to do, what they want to eat, etc, and the parents do it for them.
Lesson #85) Many Koreans know their birthdays based on the lunar calendar. This means that it changes dates every year. So weird.
Lesson #86) In Singapore, you can’t buy gum. (Yes, I know this has nothing to do with Korea, but one of the youth group boys at my church told me this. Apparently, it’s to eliminate waste and make things more beautiful – think chewed gum spit out on the sidewalk…).
Lesson #87) It is customary to give towels as a souvenir or parting gift kind of thing (think, weddings, birthday parties, etc). I’m not really sure why this is, but I’ve been given towels twice now. Once for a child’s first birthday (a BIG deal here in Korea) with her name and the date or something like that embroidered on it. I also have one from our school festival with the school’s named embroidered on it.

So it’s been a while… The month of May and the beginning of June were CRAZY stressful and I had a ton of things going on, so I just haven’t felt up to writing in here. But I’ve been taking notes, like always, and I have plenty of things to talk about – some of which I’ll say now, some I’ll keep for a later time.

The end of April brought with it my first birthday in Korea. I don’t really have a “group” of friends here, instead, I have many different individuals that I hang out with on a semi-regular basis. Because of this, I ended up having three birthday celebrations all with different people. It was great! No one has cared this much about my birthday since… pretty much ever. I haven’t done anything for my birthday since I was a kid. This year, two of my co-teachers bought me presents and gave them to me at work. After work, I went with two friends to go eat Mexican food and ice cream. Then, that weekend, one of my friends here made some really fantastic American food (meatloaf, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and chocolate cake with white icing) and so she and two other friends from church came over to my apartment and we ate it. It was like the birthday that just kept going… Plus I got a really awesome package from America filled with many different things from several different people.^^

Contests are really popular here in Korea and English is a popular topic for such competitions. My school had their competition recently and, since I’m the resident “Native English Speaker,” it was up to me to judge. I interviewed kids, graded essays, and listened to my middle schoolers singing pop songs (this is inevitably funny as you get acts such as 12 first year middle school boys singing and dancing to “Hit the Road Jack” and a third year girl singing “You look so dumb right now,” as she begins the song “Take A Bow”). The essays had some really fantastic quotes. Here are a few of my favorite ones (they were on the topic of mandatory school uniforms):

“If you want to express you character, how about wearing your colorful and wonderful clothes after school?”

“I bitterly opposed to this claim.”

“Thank you for read my essay. I wrote hard because this is my last ‘English Up’ contest. I took part in this contest about three years. Thank you so much to make this contest.”

“When my father was young, he wanted to wear just normal clothes. He wanted to be looked nice. But after the test, he recognized that he had to study and running away from beauty. Guys, we are students not grown up people. … Remember this, do you want to be look good right now or after you graduated from the school life?”

Buddha’s birthday is a big deal here in Korea. This year, my school gave us two days off for the holiday. The entire country decorates towns and cities with paper lanterns hanging off of street lamps and other such things. I love how colorful everything looks at that time of year! The Saturday before the holiday, I went up to Seoul with some friends for the big lantern festival and parade in Buddha’s honor. There were thousands of lanterns in all shapes and sizes and varying levels of intricacy. Everything was so beautiful. I took lots of pictures so, if you haven’t yet, you should go check them out on my Facebook page. So many people passed by in what was the longest parade ever, waving and smiling and saying “성불하세요” (som-burl-ha-se-yo), which means something along the lines of, “be a saint like Buddha.” The five of us white-skinned foreigner girls garnered so much attention… People in the parade would try and talk to us or stop to take our picture. Also, many of the people in the parade were handing their lanterns to anyone who happened to catch their attention. Some Koreans had them, but mostly they seemed to be given to the children and foreigners. By the end of the parade, all five of us had been given one, and one girl even got two. All six of the lanterns were different shapes (again, consult my photos). After the parade, there was a big party with the main stage set up in the same area Seoul has their New Year’s celebration. There were bands playing, and people walking and dancing, and pictures being taken, and confetti cannons… it was incredible! Best party ever.

In case you are reading this and you didn’t know, I’m planning on staying in Korea another year. In order to renew my contract, I had to have an open class for people to come and evaluate me. It may have well been one of the most stressful experiences of my entire life. So much work went into making it perfect and seamless. I was even told by my head-teacher that I had to re-do the entire lesson after I had made it and already practiced it a few times. They were so adamant that it had to be great – I guess because they would be showing off my classroom and the …unique…way they want me to teach to the education officials who would be here. The day finally came and the teachers at my school were all in a frenzy, washing my classroom and having me practice (yet again) with full microphone and ppt and props even with no kids in the classroom, just having me imagine them there. They even cancelled one of my classes so I could practice with an empty classroom. After lunch, I was told to go wait outside for everyone to show up and greet them as they came into the school. So I did. All in all, about 16 people were there to watch my class and evaluate me: some from the program that recruited me, some from the Office of Education, and some from my own school. Turns out that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. At least, officially. In the end, I didn’t care about impressing the visitors, the only thing that mattered was making my school happy. I guess I did ok… Who knows, though. My school is way hard core.

Stress levels were also at a high level due to some vacation drama that took weeks to sort out. But I’ll fill you in about where I’m going later…

I swear one of these days I’m going to fall down the stairs in my apartment building and die. It’s so gross in there. People stand in there to smoke, so the stairwell always reeks of tobacco and there are always cigarette butts littering the ground. They also drink alcohol there and eat ramen. Why they want to hang out in this nasty place is beyond me. But the real problem is, Koreans spit. Especially men. I’m always finding little patches of saliva which I may or may not accidentally step on. The floor is smooth marble, so your foot slides a lot if you end up stepping on it, so you can imagine how convenient it is to have that on hard steps… Seriously, terrible traffic patterns and nasty stairwells with slippery floors: the two most dangerous things in Korea.

I have some other things (Korean culture type things) that I want to write about, but I guess it’ll wait for another time. This is already long… it has occurred to me, though, that my entries probably seem shallow. Well, I guess they kinda are. I wish I could translate through the computer just what it’s like here. The smells, the sounds (though you may be spared on that one. There are two yappy dogs near my apartment that bark all night and drive me nuts! And the construction sounds are always loud and present…), the sights, the tastes… There’s no way I can really convey to you how it feels to live here. I wish I could.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Here are some videos for you. Two are from Korea’s Got Talent (one is just a good story, the other is about two girl students whose foreigner teacher I know), and the third is just hilarious because it’s SO TRUE!

The two students performing in KGT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCWgVAeg23k&feature=player_embedded

The one that’s definitely worth watching – maybe with a couple tissues handy…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BewknNW2b8Y&feature=player_embedded

Even Hitler knows how hard it can be to teach in SK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIeHeJ0V4LY&feature=youtu.be

The one that is not about Bin Laden…

The biggest thing in the news since my last update was the bit about Osama Bin Laden being killed after 10 long years’ search. Facebook has been blowing up with people arguing over his final outcome and whether or not we should be happy and celebrate justice being served or mourn the loss of a soul. Frankly, I’m quite sick of all the quarrelling and, therefore, I’m not going to talk about him or my views on it. I definitely have a stance, and I’m fully able to back it up without the use of Bible verses or Martin Luther King Jr. quotes (fake or otherwise), but, if you want to know, you’ll have to ask me personally. What I do want to say is this statement: “Because the Bible says so” is NOT an appropriate reason for or against any particular action, thought, or emotion.

I witnessed a whole lot of Old Testament verses being thrown around to support the idea that God promotes justice against evil and how we should celebrate the eradication of foul and corrupt governments and people and organizations. I also saw many verses (both Old and New Testament) that talked about how we should love our enemies and grieve for the lost, etc. And the conclusion I have come to is this: you can all put away your Bibles and actually take the time to think for yourselves. Whether you are celebrating his death or lamenting the fact that he “wasn’t given a chance” and should have been brought to trial instead, you need to be able to back up what you believe with a concrete reason. Scriptures about ethics can pretty much be interpreted to say anything you want them to say and, therefore, are invalid in such respect. I believe that, if it’s in there to begin with, there’s an underlying reason for it. Find THAT reason. Instead of just saying, “The Bible says this, therefore, I’m right,” why don’t you try actually figuring out WHY the Bible says that – because there’s a good chance that verse may not even apply in your scenario.

I also think throwing around MLKJ quotes like they’re the absolute, infallible truth is ridiculous. He was just a man. A great man, sure, but a man nonetheless. His accomplishments don’t earn him a god-status. And, for the people who get so defensive about the quote not being accurate: I think you too need to be careful what you post online. Maybe it is wrong, but how do you know? Because you saw someone else post in their status that it was fake. Did you bother to look it up? No. So you don’t actually know anything. Basically, the point in all of this is just to say that you can’t simply believe and go by anything you read or hear, then declare it as the truth. You first need to think for yourself, evaluate the source and judge carefully, then determine what seems the most right to you. Quoting someone else doesn’t make you look wise or compassionate or noble or anything like that. It just makes you look like a mindless clone.

If April showers bring May flowers, what does April “radiation rain” do?

Surviving in Korea:
Lesson #71) You know you’ve been in Korea too long when you read the word “prom,” and you automatically change it to “from” in your head, then have trouble figuring out why the sentence doesn’t make any sense.
Lesson #72) Koreans go to the doctor’s for every tiny little ailment. And why shouldn’t they? Doctors are super cheap here. I, however, still stay as far away from them as humanly possible…
Lesson #73) When you order delivery from a restaurant, they’ll bring it in actual, real dishes. After you finish eating, you should place the used dishes out in the hall. The delivery person will come around again in a bit to collect them.
Lesson #74) Koreans have absolutely no concept of when to use the word “the.”
Lesson #75) Koreans only have to pay about 9% for their taxes. NINE!!!
Lesson #76) Koreans can’t understand why Americans aren’t thrilled about Obama’s health care plan and can easily spend, in my case, an hour and a half drilling you about it and trying to convince you it’s a good thing. They will never actually believe you, but the culture and lifestyle differences become ever more apparent as time wears on…
Lesson #77) It’s really embarrassing that a common question coming from a Korean is “Why can’t foreigners spell?” Seriously people, it’s called Spell Check.

A couple of quotes from two of my boys:

BOY: [Falls dramatically on my classroom floor] I’m tired… No! I DIED!
ME: Don’t die!! That’s not good!
BOY: Give me the potion!
ME: [Stirs up an imaginary elixir of life and tosses it to the student]
BOY: [Takes and drinks the elixir, then silently stands up and raises his arms in a victory stance for a moment before proceeding on his merry way]

BOY: Teacher, give me candy!
ME: No.
BOY: Candy!
ME: No. Go!
BOY: I love you!
ME: No.
BOY: I love you!!
ME: (In Korean) Go!!!
BOY: No go! Teacher, you are my mother! Mothers say yes. Not no. Give me candy!
ME: …… hahaha

I <3 my middle schoolers!!

I’ve finally gotten to the point where my Korean co-teacher friends see me as just that: a friend. Not a “foreigner,” not a “child” (since they all feel the need to comment about how I’m so young), but as an actual friend. The other day I was sitting in my office and realized I’d missed a call. So I called the person back, “Hey, did you call me?” and the conversation went on from there. When I hung up, my co-worker was laughing and laughing. Finally, she was like, “You speak English so well! Perfect!!” I just stared at her for a moment, not really entirely sure what to say. Then she said that when I had first started talking on the phone she was so impressed and was marveling at my English abilities. Then it occurred to her: I’m the foreigner. ^^

And ode to the Halmoni (Grandmother):
Day after day she sits there – sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend.  Today, she has a comrade. Her face is weathered. Deep lines are etched in her wizened cheeks, looking as though a crumpled paper, wrinkled and stretched a thousand times over, delicate as the soft petal of a flower. She’s short and wears mismatched clothes. She sits on the sidewalk and, laid out before her, are an assortment of interesting and unusual organic items which she hopes to sell for a small sum of money. It is cold today, but she is not complaining. I, in my arrogance, find myself thankful that I’m not like her. I am not in her situation nor will I ever look quite so aged. Her life must have been very difficult so as to leave such harsh markings clearly evident on her body. I feel sorry for the troubles she must have faced, but thankful that my life is different; I do not envy her in the least. But then, as I watched, she began to talk with her neighbor. A few words exchanged. Then, in the briefest of seconds, she smiled. A moment of perspective. Of clarity. The creases I only moments before had judged in my hauteur to be ugly were suddenly filled with hope and happiness. Her entire being lit up with such a beauty that it took my breath away. Her eyes filled with the wisdom of her years. But then, just as suddenly as it had come, it vanished. Heartbreak. Such fleeting happiness left a gaping hole of yearning behind in its wake. Her smile faded, she receded back into the lined old women I had seen many times before, not just here in this spot, but all over the city. She went back to being one of the nameless, faceless halmonis everyone overlooks and ignores, that is, until they push you out of the way at the bus stop.  I continued to watch, but that smile never reappeared. I wondered at this marvel. What must her life have been like? What events had she witnessed? Where was her family? Was her childhood difficult? Was she proud of her existence or did she harbor an inward feeling of regret? Was she happy? She was full of stories and mysteries, but I would never know of such things. Instead, I remain haunted by the beauty I glimpsed in her smile. And, for a moment, I find myself wishing that I were her.

Please excuse me for a moment as I go off on a bit of social commentary… for the rest of this blog post. There are two things I’ve heard recently that are bothering me (feel completely free to skip. You are under no obligation to read my complainings… ^^):

First, I know of people (both strangers and friends) who consider themselves to be quite liberal or progressive. I’m not talking politics here, I’m talking religion. They get angry with the conservative Christians and their inability to accept beliefs different from their own, “correct” perspective. It bothers people so much that they refuse to even be associated with the religion anymore. They’ll say, “I believe in Jesus, but I’m NOT a Christian!” I understand where you’re coming from, I really do, but that is not the way to go about fixing or changing anything. All that stance does is serve to confuse everyone and drive the two conflicting factions further and further from one other. If you see something that’s wrong, do you not have a moral obligation to try and fix it to the extent of your abilities? How do you expect to influence ideas and movements when you’ve very pointedly placed yourself on the outside? No one will ever take you seriously! I completely agree that many times the conservative viewpoints can cause separation, arrogance, and even hate. However, I also believe that the more liberal viewpoints can be just as destructive. In your determination to break identity with others whom you deem to be “intolerant,” you yourself are showing intolerance. This paradox is harmful to both sides as the antipathy will only grow and become more severe and obvious to everyone around us. We’ll purport a negative influence on the world instead of a positive one. I beg of you, both liberals AND conservatives, to put aside your differences and try and get along with one another. No one has all the answers. Is it really so hard to admit that you might actually not fully understand all the facets of what you’re talking about and that you might actually (*gasp!*) be WRONG?!

Secondly, I am bothered by the lack of maturity and professionalism I’ve witnessed from several other foreigner teachers here in Korea. When I say maturity, I’m not talking about acting silly or having fun. I know people think I’m both boring and intimidating, I get that; I’m quiet and don’t show much of what I’m thinking/feeling unless I know that person well. In which case I talk far too much. But, that being said, I DO actually know how to have fun and act stupid; there’s a reason I like hanging out with kids so much. The maturity I’m talking about, however, is of a deeper level. I’ve heard people talk about how living here inKoreais so fun and basically just an extension of college. They talk about not having any responsibilities here. The time is theirs to stay out late and hang out with friends or go drinking or anything else that strikes their fancy at that moment. They retreat back into their little social cliques, alienating everyone else, and act as though they mentally never left high school. I’m not saying you can’t have a close group of friends; it’s a good thing, certainly, but exclusivity comes with a cost. With Americans in such short supply here, the growing animosity between those in the group and those who are not is crippling to such a small community. Everyone knows everyone else’s business. I don’t understand how people can’t see the repercussions of their actions. I’m not saying you have to hang out with people you don’t like, but be civil, please! Also, I don’t know what you thought you signed on for when deciding to come toKorea, but I chose to assume an actual JOB! I fully realize I don’t have as many responsibilities as the Korean English teachers, but I still have a responsibility to myself, my students, my school, and my program to be the best teacher that I can. My students may not be able to understand me as well as they understand their Korean teachers, but that doesn’t change the fact that I AM their teacher and that they should (hopefully) be learning something from my classes. I realize it’s not the hardest thing ever to be accepted to a foreigner teaching position here, but that doesn’t mean you can neglect your work. Seriously, be professional! And as far as just regular life responsibilities, maybe you’ve discovered some secret you’ve yet to let the rest of us in on, but, as for me, I still pay my bills (both here – even if it is directly withdrawn from my bank account – and in America). I cook. I clean. I prepare lessons for my students. And, the thing that’s probably the hardest for me, I work to keep my relationships both here and inAmericaafloat. There’s so much extra work that goes into long distance friendships and…er… family-ships… If you really feel like you don’t have any responsibilities, maybe you should find some. But, if you insist on acting like you never left high school, at least shut up about it and let the rest of us get on with our lives. I have absolutely no desire to relive those days ever again.

Happy Spring! :)

Lesson #61) When your kitchen is *this* big and you’ve got a ton of dishes to wash, your laundry rack can easily convert to serve as a makeshift dish drainer.
Lesson #62) When you leave your freezer off/open all day in order to thaw out the ice which has built up and is keeping you from being able to open the drawers, don’t forget to leave a towel or bowl to catch all the water. Otherwise, you’ll come home to a rather foul smelling puddle covering your entire kitchen floor.
Lesson #63) In the US, we have Valentine’s Day.  In Korea, Valentine’s Day is when girls give their boyfriends chocolate. White Day (March 14^th) is when the boys should reciprocate by giving the girls presents. Black Day (April 14^th) is when anyone who is single, and therefore couldn’t celebrate Valentine’s/White Days, should go to a Chinese restaurant and eat jjajangmyun (noodles with a black sauce). Black. A sign of mourning.
Lesson #64) Every business has a point card where stamps, stickers, and numbers add up to earn you freebies. Be prepared to have a special wallet solely for such things.
Lesson #65) If you put a screen and projector in the cafeteria and then proceed to show a music video from a famous pop group, expect that every single middle school student in the entire cafeteria will go crazy and start screaming and/or singing along.
Lesson #66) According to Koreans, it’s not starving children in Africa on whose behalf you must eat all the food on your plate lest it succumb to the dreaded trash receptacle. Instead, it’s poor starving children in North Korea. Though I’m not sure there’s any real conviction to it as it seems there is always food that ends up getting thrown out.
Lesson #67) Rain water will make you go bald. Or these days, due to Japan, it’s radioactive and will subject you to all sorts of unwanted nuclear energy. Umbrellas are a must. Foreigners who don’t follow this societal custom (which, ok, is probably the majority of them) are thus stared at. But, you know, what else is new?
Lesson #68) As a female, you will attract less awkward stares by wearing a miniskirt and tights as opposed to jeans and non-attractive shoes. You’ll blend in more. Monkey see, monkey do…
Lesson #69) Face. Masks.
Lesson #70) A beach ball is one of the most unexpectedly useful items for any ESL classroom.

So it’s been a while… I was debating whether or not I should keep this blog as it has recently caused some drama. Apparently I don’t filter what I say enough. Anyway, I decided to keep it and start writing again and I’m just going to have to try and be more careful with what I say.

I believe I last left off just before my trip to Australia. I’m not going to write about it here, if you want to know how it went, please see my Facebook photo albums. I will, however, give you a list of highlights: 30*C+ weather, random sightseeing, relaxing afternoons by the ocean, TARGET!!!, cableway through the rainforest, petting (and tasting, actually) a kangaroo, scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef!! (I came home with some souvenir coral sand), getting stuck for 2 extra days due to category 5 tropical cyclone (hurricane) Yasi, one night spent in an evacuation center with many, many people sleeping side by side on a cement floor, and becoming friends with a girl from Holland who has done a ton of awesome things, including working on the Harry Potter movies. My only regret is that I really would have loved to take a trip into the Outback. Sleep under the stars, all that jazz. If I ever get a chance to go back there, and I hope I do, I’m definitely going to do that first.

I’ve also moved into my new apartment since my last posting. I don’t really have much to say about that except that it’s fantastic and I love having my own place! At some point I’ll get around to putting pictures on Facebook, though no guarantees of that being anytime soon.

Korean behavior towards foreigners still amuses me. I know many of my friends here are completely sick of it, but I find it funny. Especially the kids. Many times, as I walk through the park or somewhere, I’ll have a little kid stop and stare at me with their eyes full of wonder and their mouths turned up in a mesmerized smile. “Hi!” they breathe. I just laugh and say hi back. The other day I was waiting at the crosswalk on my way to work as I was passed by a group of elementary students going to school. I was watching the light, not really paying attention to them, and then I suddenly realized this tiny little girl was standing in front of me, waiting. I looked down at her and she got the cutest smile on her face, bowed and greeted me. After I replied, she happily went on her way. Seriously, the children here are beyond adorable. The high school girls and really old people are not quite so friendly… their stares are usually of the sizing-you-up variety and make the recipient quite uncomfortable. Oh well. The high school boys I like though. I live near a local high school and there are always groups of boys trying to talk to me.  They’re hilarious. :) One other reaction to foreigners that I find interesting is how, sometimes, when I’m standing at an elevator waiting to go up, some other Korean will come along. Instead of joining me, they’ll push the up arrow on the next elevator over and wait for it just so they don’t have to ride with me. I don’t get it.

I’m sitting here in a coffee shop writing this and just now the Cheers theme song started playing… This place is surprisingly empty. Normally it’s packed at this time… Thank you “radioactive” precipitation for giving me one of the good seats by the window.

Korea’s best resource as a nation are its people. There are many people here and not much room, therefore, the population is really dense. Because of this, there is a lot of rivalry. If you want to stand out, you must prove yourself worthy of the attention. Competition is fierce. I’m constantly amazed by my students and the stuff they know and the hours they keep. Everyone wants to be the best at something, and all parents want their child to excel, but with so many people, it’s wicked difficult. As much as I wish I was as talented as some of these kids, I’m not envious of them at all. They’re under far too much pressure. Another negative aspect of this is that the suicide rate is ridiculously high, especially around exam time.

The school year here is very different from in the States.  It starts in March and ends in February. There is about a 5-week-long break during July-August and again in December-January. February is actually rather strange. At my school, the students came back from break for one week of classes, then had 2-3 weeks for “spring break,” after which they came back and the new school year started. Just because they’re on break, though, doesn’t mean they actually get one. Their time is filled with extra hagwon (academies for supplemental classes which pretty much all Korean students attend until about 9 or 10pm) studies or specialized subject “camps,” either at their own school or elsewhere. My school had three weeks of camp. I taught three classes a day with the same students so, by the end, I had to find material to fill up 45 hours worth of lessons. An epic task to be sure, especially as it was an “activity” class and they therefore weren’t to use a textbook or really learn much of anything; just play games and practice their speaking without getting bored. The good part about it was that I was able to find some really fantastic websites with some excellent lesson ideas, so I’ve got a pretty good list going of valuable resources – which I’ve already consulted more than once.

It’s kind of amazing how much easier this semester is than the last one. Even just having one semester’s worth of experience under your belt can make a world of difference. This, plus my resource collection, plus the fact that I’ve gotten to know my students a lot better, plus the fact that I’m teaching 4 less hours a week than I was last semester all contribute to my actually being able to maintain a grip on my sanity haha. Last semester was crazy stressful and it definitely affected my health. This semester is also a bit different because my school has changed my classes somewhat.  Where last year I taught from the textbook, this year the Korean English teachers do it all. My job is to come up with games based upon the grammar being taught in any given unit. My classroom has no desks or chairs, just a matted floor. Students come in and I quickly review the grammar to be used for the activity. Then we spend the entire rest of the time playing. There’re definitely both pros and cons to this. I’ve discovered the active games tend to generate more excitement, but repeatedly standing/sitting/running is not so good when it comes to the fact that the girls all wear skirts as part of their uniform and don’t seem to understand how to move without… er…. revealing everything… It’s also much harder to keep their attention when they’re not sitting at a desk. On the bright side, no one is allowed to wear shoes in my classroom (because of the foam mats) so I get to comfortably walk around in just socks all day. Well, while I’m teaching anyway.

I miss the Mid-Atlantic Church of the Nazarene. A lot. http://manaz.org

Here is a video for your enjoyment (you may not understand if you don’t live here, but for those of us who do…. Bahahaha!!! “People say I look like Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp, and I’m starting to believe them.” Oh Korea, where all the male foreigners have hugely inflated egos…. ). http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7861639/do-you-like-kimchi

Ya queremos pastel aunque sea un pedacito!!

Lesson #53) Koreans count age differently than we do in the states. The easiest way to explain this is that, for any given calendar year during which you were alive, even if just for a day, you count one year on your age. So, for example, when I was born in 1987, I was born 1-year-old because I had only been around during that one year. When ’88 rolled around, I turned 2, and I did so on January 1^st because that was already the second calendar year I had witnessed. Everyone becomes the next year older on New Years (some use the solar calendar, some the lunar… whatever). Now that it’s already 2011, I’m 25, Korean age. I kinda like this better, though… I feel older than only 23, so 25 just seems more… natural.
Lesson #54) The tradition is that you must eat a bowl of a certain kind of soup for new years.  Once you eat it you become older, so, if you don’t, the joke is that you stay the same age. Or, if you are given two bowls of soup, people might playfully tease you saying that you gained TWO years to your age.
Lesson #55) If you tell a Korean that you’ll meet up for coffee with them, don’t be surprised if they get upset when you bail on dinner. Getting together for “coffee,” to them, means spending all evening together, first dinner, then coffee, then whatever.
Lesson #56) Coffee and/or hot tea pretty much ALWAYS follow a social meal.
Lesson #57) If you eat with Koreans, generally one person picks what the meal will be, and you don’t have a choice about it. Many times one person will just pay for everything but, if they’re used to foreigners, they might suggest that each pay their own way. So you may just happen to find yourself paying 6,000won for a bowl of sundae guk, despite the fact that they know perfectly well that you don’t like sundae… ick.
Lesson #58) The longer you live here, the more appreciative you become that you were born speaking English.
Lesson #59) Never underestimate the power of a good movie in influencing students.
Lesson #60) Prepare to be language confused. The other day I wanted to ask what something was, and the English, Spanish, and Korean translations all popped in my head, one right after the other. It took me a second to decide which one to use.

I don’t really have a whole lot to update you all on, though I know it’s been a while. These past three weeks have been winter camp at my school. Even though school’s on vacation right now, students everywhere are going to various schools and hagwons to study hard during their “break.” My school had three weeks of camp with the morning classes being more academic in nature, and the afternoon classes being more activity based. My co-teachers all taught grammar and reading in the morning while I sat at my desk doing nothing. Then, after lunch, it was my turn to do activities. The budget was really low this year, however, so I was given no materials to use even after I had been told I’d have money at my disposal.  So, since I wasn’t really supposed to be actually teaching anything, didn’t have a textbook, and had no money for resources, we played a whole lot of games and had some writing/drawing assignments. The students’ levels in my class were extremely varied, though, so it was hard finding something that appealed to everyone, resulting in almost always having at least one person be really bored. I wish I could have sat in on some of the other classes. Some of the teachers would bring in these bright, colorful bags of supplies, cd players, balloon animals (or other shapes), treats for the students… The office quite routinely looked like a circus. Just makes me wonder what they were up to.

We had our share of good times in my class too, though. We played some games that went over really well, like “Dice of Fortune,” which I made up based on Wheel of Fortune (the groups like chanting “bankrupt!!” while it was the other group’s turn, and “Top 5,” a game I found online based off Family Feud.” We also watched Akeelah and the Bee. I had been told by someone in my teachers’ class that it was a good movie for Korean middle schoolers, and he was right! First I explained to them about the Scripps National Spelling Bee, and then we watched the movie. They got WAY into it and talked about it for the next several days even after we had finished watching it. The movie also convinced them that playing Scrabble is what the cool kids do haha. “Teacher!! I saw this game in the movie!!! Akeelah played Scrabble!” Um, yes student, she did. The movie also alluded to the fact that it was a game for nerds, but I’m glad you didn’t pick up on that lol. They asked me a few times to play Scrabble/Upwords after that and, even in playing only a few times, I could see they were getting better at it. ^^

Students also will constantly surprise you with what they do and do not know. I was asked what “yuck” meant, and, when I used the phrase “guess what” with one of my upper level students, she had no idea what I was saying. There was another boy who, while writing about what they would be if they could be/do anything for one day, wrote that he wanted to be a god so he could have all the power haha. I also had a boy who, though I knew he was advanced, proved to be way more advanced than I ever realized. He would show me these articles another teacher gave him as extra study material with questions to answer at the end of it. He’d ask for definitions or for me to check his answers. I was amazed that he was able to understand articles with such big words in them! And, not only does he understand them, but once he learns them (like, after I had given him a definition or whatever), he’s able to turn around and use them correctly. I mean, he used the word “distinguishable” for crying out loud! The last day, I gave them some free time to play Holly Golly or whatever they wanted. He asked if he could study… Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve really come to appreciate him. Though it can be somewhat intimidating when he starts asking questions like “What was your TOEFL score?” because, though I never had to take that particular test as English is my native language, no doubt if I had needed to take it, this boy’s score would have most likely been a lot higher than mine…

Still no word on when I’ll be moving to my new apartment…

The longer I’m here, the more I’m realizing just how much I get treated differently as a foreigner. There are definitely times people are rude to you or rip you off all because they know you can’t do anything about it. It’s really sad. The worst thing is knowing that this is how foreigners in the USA get treated as well, though, actually, they are probably treated worse. Growing up with my Hispanic background, I knew SO many people who immigrated to America (both legally and illegally) and I’d hear stories of how they were being screwed over but I never really realized what it was actually like. I didn’t really see it, and sometimes I thought they were just making a big to-do about nothing… but now I understand. And it’s really just disheartening more so than anything else. I just don’t understand why we all can treat each other with civility and respect.

I am OFFICIALLY on vacation!!! On Monday I’m off to Australia (hooray for summer weather!!) so don’t be expecting another update soon. It’ll probably be another 2-3 weeks before I get around to it. ^^

OK, here’s the deal. I just spent a long time trying to find a video I wanted to show you about a foreigner man and a Korean woman… but I couldn’t find it. So I’ll try and search for it for next time. In the meanwhile, please enjoy the videos below. Warning: they may not actually be funny to you unless you’ve been in Korea but… oh well. Also please note that these are generalizations and stereotypes and extreme situations, etc, and life here isn’t really like this…
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7839719/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0h2t3ZONqc&feature=related

In the stillness of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold…

Christmas was really fantastic this year. In Korea, Christmas is a couples’ holiday, so it is not really all that widely celebrated, at least, not how we Americans think of it. Christmas Eve I taught 5 lessons (we played a “Price is Right” game that I made up to go with a lesson on “how much is it?” and it went over really well). Upon arriving home, a trip to Lotte was necessitated and then I went to the Christmas Eve service held by my church, my first one ever since normally my family celebrates the holiday the night before Christmas and I therefore have never had the opportunity to go to such a service. It was really nice. Then I went to a friend’s apartment to watch a Christmas movie and didn’t get home until about 3am (so much for my first Christmas not staying up all night on Christmas Eve). The next morning my friends had a special breakfast (which was fantastic thanks to our wonderful cooks!), talked, and watched “It’s a Wonderful Life.” In the middle of the movie I left to go call my family on the phone and it was then that I noticed that it had started snowing! Only my second white Christmas ever! Kind of amazing how much fluffy white flakes falling from the sky make listening to Christmas music 100x better. J Later we did a white elephant gift exchange and then we all went to a multibang to finish out the evening. Traffic was… not good, to say the least haha. The taxi ride there cost much more than usual and we had to wait 45 minutes to catch a taxi back, but that’s only a minor setback in what was otherwise a really wonderful day.

 *** long story warning ***

There is a tradition in Korean culture where teachers take an overnight trip together at the end of the school year. The one for my school was Wednesday-Thursday of this week. They said I didn’t have to go but, if I didn’t, I’d be required to come sit in my office at school even though there weren’t any students, as per my contract (my school is a stickler about the hours specified in my contract. Where the other foreign teachers get to go home early, I have to stay at work even when there is nothing to do). So I decided to go on the trip, of course. We went down to the southern tip of Korea to the island of Wando. It was… an experience, that’s for sure. We left the school around 11:30am all together in a coach bus. After a bit, we stopped for lunch at a rest area off a highway, ate, and then continued on our way. We rode forever and there were movies playing (all in Korean, but I was kind of glad about that actually because they were pretty gruesome and I’m not sure I wanted to know what was going on even more than I already did) and then we finally stopped. But we weren’t there yet; we had stopped to visit this one historical place of which I still don’t really understand the importance. We got of the bus and had to climb up this super steep mountain to get to the place we were going, the kind of climb where going down is almost as difficult as going up. I guess some people thought it was interesting, but I, having no idea anything about the place, was just tired and a little irritated after the crazy hike to get there. After we got back on the bus, we were running late, so we just went straight to our hotel where I was to share a room with two other teachers. I was surprised when I walked in our room and saw no beds, only blankets folded up on the floor. This is traditionally Korean, so I should have expected it, but the thought hadn’t even occurred to me at that point, but I didn’t really mind as I like sleeping on the floor.

Then was dinner. Honestly, I think I do ok in dealing with new cultures and new things… but this… dinner might possibly have been the single most overwhelming experience of my life! Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration…. Anyway, the main dish was raw fish (their specialty in this fishing town). I tried the food, to be polite but I didn’t really enjoy it. Every little while they’d bring out some other food and I’d always be looking anxiously to see if it was something I could eat. Sometimes it was, sometimes not. I felt bad though because they kept handing food to me and trying to get me to eat more. I was doing the best I could to be polite, but I still think I might have offended some of them. Along with dinner came the drinking of far too much beer and soju. They kept doing “cheers” and some of them got really drunk! Being the only foreigner in a room full of 20 or so drunk Koreans was definitely a unique experience… >.< After dinner was FINALLY over, they decided to do noraebang. If 20 drunk Koreans at dinner was an experience, 20 drunk Koreans at noraebang was the icing on the cake. They sang. They danced. They tried to get me to sing, I didn’t want to and came up with excuses why I couldn’t, and they accepted this. But then one of my coteachers whom I don’t particularly like very much under normal circumstances, but especially not when drunk, told me I had to sing, that it was “Korean manners.” He chose the song “Hey Jude” for me and entered it into the system. My other coteacher told him I didn’t want to do it and he grabbed my hand in both of his and started patting and making pouty faces and said I didn’t have to if I really didn’t want to. But, as he was saying this, my song came up and he basically pushed me up to the front. Ugh. Eventually it was late enough that my coteacher said I could excuse myself and go up to the room, being that I was so much younger than all the rest of them, and a foreigner, she thought it would be ok if I left. She walked me up to the room (at which point the really drunk coteacher came to see why we had left and weren’t we coming back down), showed me how to set up the blankets on the floor, and then went back down, leaving me to take a shower in some much-needed solitude. I fell asleep somewhere around midnight.

The next day started with my one roommate’s alarm going off at 5:30am (the hotel had a spa, apparently, and many of the teachers were going there before breakfast). My other roommate and I went down around 8am and ended up taking a walk down the dock before breakfast. It was beautiful! And probably the only redeeming factor of the trip. The sea was really pretty and the air was so… fresh! Something you don’t get a whole lot of living in a city. The weather then started to be crazy, however, and, out of nowhere, it started snowing and the wind picked up quite a bit. So we went in for breakfast (juk – basically rice porridge). Here again, I think I offended them maybe a little. Even though I was hungry from hardly eating the night before, I have a hard time eating early in the morning so I never eat breakfast. Also, the porridge had some fish in it, so the strong smell and taste didn’t help much… But I ate, to be polite. Where all the other teachers cleaned their bowls, I only had several bites, and they definitely made note of how little I ate. I later found out the porridge was 15,000\ per bowl ($13), so then I felt really bad for not eating it all, but… I really just couldn’t. After breakfast, we went to a fish market where the other teachers loaded up on dried fish and seaweed and where I just stood in wonder at the fishermen’s wives; the simplistic beauty found in their harsh, lined faces and tough, weathered skin… We all got on the bus again and this time we went to Wando Tower (basically a mountain tower lookout point). We got off the bus and, once again, I found myself facing a super steep hike. Luckily though, the scene was so picturesque that I could easily disguise my stopping to catch my breath as my stopping for a picture opportunity haha. Just before we reached the base of the tower, it started to snow fiercely, so we quickly went up the last section of stairs and finally made it inside. We took the elevator up and started to look out the observation windows, but the snow was coming down so hard and fast that we couldn’t really see anything. After a while, the snow slowed and so we started making our way back to the bus down the long, really steep pathway that was now also wet from the snow. By the time we got to the bottom, my legs were shaking really hard from the effort.

Think we’re done yet? Not so much. We left and I was happy to finally be headed home, but, for reasons unknown to me, we stopped at a tree garden. It was pretty and all… but… really?! It was cold! It must have been the principal’s idea, because the other teachers didn’t seem to want to be there either. We started walking around but, once again, it started to snow. Because of this, we thankfully didn’t stay long. Onwards to lunch and then home! Sort of. The more we traveled, the harder it snowed. I’m pretty sure we got lost trying to find the restaurant where we were supposed to eat so we drove around for a while and then finally stopped at this little restaurant out in the middle of nowhere. By this time I was starving as it was around 3:45pm and I hadn’t eaten much since lunch the day before. Well, once again, I wasn’t a big fan of the menu choice (surprise, surprise), so I basically just ate a bowl of rice for lunch. Back on the bus and more driving and more disturbing movies in Korean. It was getting late and we stopped at a rest stop. Here I got a hotdog. I have never in my life been so happy to eat a hotdog. We eventually got back to the school at 8pm (we were SUPPOSED to get back by 4pm but, if there’s anything I learned about Korean culture on this trip, it’s that schedules don’t mean a single thing as most of the “planned” activities/meetings were thrown out the window). Once I got back to my home, I heard some people watching a movie down the hall so I went and joined them despite being super tired because I really just needed to hear some English for a while. Anyway, I have experienced a teacher trip and now it’s over… and I don’t think I’ll be doing that again anytime soon. Or ever.

 ****

Most of the teachers took a vacation day today and there are no students, so the school is super quiet and I’m the only person in my entire office (which, by the way, had the heat turned off, so I’m sitting here in my coat). I forgot that I should have packed some snacks/lunch, as the caf is closed and other teachers will be ordering in, so now I’m hungry. Oh well, I’ll live. I could probably count the number of people in this entire school on my fingers, so I’m not really sure why I’m required to be here… I think I might leave a little early, half an hour or 45 minutes. No one would even know and, with as many times as I’ve come early or stayed late, I really think I should have DAYS saved up by now, so no one is going to miss me if I leave early. I hope.

Today is New Years Eve. If you know me well, you will understand why this is such a sad day for me. If you don’t know… too bad, I’m not writing about it on here. This whole week has been really hard emotionally. I wish so badly I could just go home and curl up in my nice, soft, warm bed and sleep as long as possible. And then I would wake up and come back to Korea. Actually, I think sleeping at all would do me a lot of good… tonight might be an early night for me…

I just got an email stating that the deadline for choosing if I’ll renew my teaching contract for another year or not is one week from today…